Make Way for Ducklings

He's a No Exit ?G? in the place to be,
he goes to Stanford University.
And since Kindergarten he acquired knowledge,
and after twelve grade he went straight to college.

Well Tom's a pop culture primate with the IQ of a fetus,
social IQ twenty-five; you know that I mean this.
Between his DVD's clogged arteries and MP3's,
he's got this antisocial mental brain disease.
And I want to break him out, want to show him the world.
Want to get him blazed, want to get him a girl.
Want to take him camping down in Ventana.
Want to enlighten him, like the Dalai Llama.
He'd otherwise never known the beauty to be seen
beyond his flat-panel PC LCD screen.
But would he care if I took him by the hand,
planned on a trip to Brain-Expansion Land?
I don't mean to be a pushy REI creep,
but you'll thank me when you're chilling six feet deep
and the worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
and the worms play PS2 on your snout.
No doubt, what I'm about is helping you,
to lively up yourself like Marley would do. ,br